Welcome to Project 100×30
Hi! I’m Molly Broomer, and I am currently 28 years old. I realized not long ago that I am 18 months away (give or take a few weeks) from turning 30 & that there are a lot of things I want to accomplish before then. I am not someone who is dreading my 30th birthday. I’m actually looking forward to it! I’ve always enjoyed getting older- I want to change & mature & be a better me than I was the year before. But, I do feel like my 20s have somewhat passed me by when I wasn’t looking. To be honest, my life hasn’t panned out the way I hoped it would in a lot of ways, & I’ve spent a fair amount of time sulking about it. Ironically, I am someone who has always believed that if your life isn’t working out the way you want or if you find yourself unhappy, you should change it! Only YOU have the power to make your life what you want it to be, & there is no excuse to settle for anything less than that. I’ve given that speech to so many family members and friends… and now, it’s time for me to shut up & apply this to my own life.
There is nothing magical about turning 30. When the clock strikes midnight & I am suddenly a year older on February 8, 2020, nothing mystical will happen. I will be the same person, I will be living in the same city in the same house, I will only have achieved what I have achieved by that point, & my heart will still be beating in my chest like it always has been. However, 30 marks the changing of a decade, & it’s a nice tidy number I can work toward (I like things that are tidy). I simply refuse to go into my 30s holding onto the same regrets & baggage I’ve allowed to accumulate in my 20s. I am not going to continue to let myself stay stagnant, immobilized by my own fears, the hurtful opinions of others, the lies I believe about myself, & the emotional/physical difficulties I’ve faced. It is time to move forward.
How I got to where I am is such a long, tedious story. There are so many characters involved, good & bad. There are so many decisions involved, good & bad. There are so many unforeseen circumstances involved, good & bad. I cannot possibly document it all, & have it make sense. Also, I don’t think anybody would care to read it. BUT, what I’m hoping people might care to read is a series of stories about overcoming all of that & allowing my life to become something new.
I am a pastor’s daughter. While my father has never overtly put pressure on me to be something I’m not in order to save his dignity, the expectation within the church is clear, & we feel it from an impressionably young age. I realized not long ago I’ve never managed to shake that expectation, even into full adulthood. You know the one… the pastor’s kids should be the most godly, the most well behaved, the most well spoken, the most respectful, etc. I have no desire to smoke weed or get drunk on weekends, & I am quite happily pursuing a faith in Christ that is of my own volition. Still, I cannot quite manage to let myself admit to people that I really like zombie movies or that I have an unbelievable problem with road rage (seriously, I have hate in my heart). Or, I struggle with the idea of church having been hurt so many times over. Or, I just want to live a happy life sometimes, not necessarily a godly one. Or, that I have struggled with sometimes crippling mental illness for thirteen years or that I really, really love a good cold beer. Once I got into full time ministry as my own career, that pressure to hide grew even stronger.
This is not a blog about leaving my faith or breaking free of some system. This is not my attempt to Eat, Pray, Love. I don’t intend to leave my family behind & screw it all. This is not a “vision board” through which I will manifest my best life. I literally just want to see a few really important goals come to life. I am tired of saying I’ll do things & not following through. I am tired of just barely surviving instead of thriving.
So here we are. You are welcome on this journey & I hope that it will inspire you to take control of your own life & intentionally weed out fear, weakness, & complacency. I hope this sparks a fire in you, too – that you can choose to change your life. Life doesn’t magically get better, we have to make it better. We don’t magically wake up as someone new, we have to apply self discipline & hard work to get there (& allow the Spirit to guide us, too.) I dearly want to be the kind of woman that my daughter can look up to & aspire to emulate. As of right now, I don’t feel I am that person – at least not to the extent I could be. I most definitely do not want to look back one day & have regrets about how I spent my precious little time… and who really knows how much time I actually have left?
In the next 18 months, I plan to lose 100 pounds (that’s about 5.5lbs per month) because I have always, always been overweight & I’m sick of it. I plan to read 100 books because I love to read & learn, but I’ve lost that love over the years, & it’s time to get it back. I plan to experience 100 beautiful moments, big & small, because life can be so precious & good, & it’s time to get off the couch and stop hiding from the world.
#52. Start a blog. Check.